Pre-arranging a Funeral

Recording your wishes with care

Funeral Pre-Arrangement Celebrant for Personal Ceremony Planning

Funeral pre-arrangement gives you the opportunity to record your ceremony wishes ahead of time, so your family has clear guidance when the time comes. As an Auckland funeral celebrant, I can help you think through the kind of ceremony you would like, including music, readings, memories, speakers and the details that matter most to you.

Together, we can talk through the kind of ceremony you would like, the people, music, readings, memories and details that matter to you. I can also help you begin shaping your story, so your ceremony reflects your life in your own words, with care and honesty.

The Process

1. Initial contact
We begin with a phone or email chat to talk through what you would like to record and how I can help.

2. Planning meeting
We meet to discuss your wishes, values, life story, important people, music, readings, and any personal details you would like included.

3. Ceremony guidance
I guide you through the options for the ceremony, including tone, structure, speakers, symbolic moments and any special requests.

4. Recording your wishes
I prepare a written summary of your ceremony wishes, giving your family clear guidance for the future.

5. Personal story notes
If you would like, I can also help record key parts of your life story, memories, values and messages you may want shared.

6. Review and refine
You have the opportunity to read through everything, make changes, and ensure it feels right.

7. Keeping it safe
You can keep a copy with your important papers and share it with your family, funeral director, lawyer, or anyone you trust.

Other Funeral Services

Funerals

Frequently Asked Questions

Why even have a funeral or memorial service?

This is a question that I get asked a lot these days. People do not want the fuss or expense. But as much as a Funeral is about honouring the deceased, its most important role is to support those left behind. A funeral gives family and friends the opportunity to come together to share in their grief and to remember someone who was really important in their lives. In my opinion it is an essential step on the long, and often complicated journey of grief.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it is necessary to have the biggest and best casket or the most expensive flowers. It really isn’t about that. But doing something, whether big or small, is really important. It helps us to make sense of what has happened, to acknowledge that grief really sucks and to reinforce everything our loved one was to us. It enables us to begin to move forward without our person in our lives.

If you’re unsure, give me a call, I’m happy to talk it through. No, I won’t try to “sell my services,” but I’ve been in this business for a long time, as a celebrant, as a funeral director, as a bereavement support coordinator and as someone who has also lost people I have loved. I’ve seen and felt what grief can do, so I am happy to be a sounding board for your thoughts.

Whatever you do to farewell your loved one, big or small, private or public, celebrant or no celebrant, or whatever … please do something. xx

What is funeral pre-arrangement?

Funeral pre-arrangement is a way of recording your wishes ahead of time, so your family has clear guidance when the time comes. It can include the style of ceremony you would like, music, readings, speakers, important memories, your life story and any personal details you would like included.

Why would I pre-arrange my ceremony?

Many people choose to pre-arrange their ceremony to make things easier for their family. It removes some of the guesswork and gives your loved ones the comfort of knowing they are honouring your wishes.

Can I update my wishes later?

Yes. Your wishes can be updated if your thoughts, circumstances, or preferences change. It is your ceremony, so it should continue to feel right for you.

Do I need to plan every detail?

No. You can record as much or as little as you like. Some people know exactly what they want, while others simply want to talk through the options and leave a few guiding notes.

Can you help me tell my life story?

Yes. I can help you record the important parts of your life, including memories, relationships, values, achievements, and the stories you would like remembered. This can be incredibly helpful for your family later.

Is this the same as pre-paying for a funeral?

No. This is about planning and recording your ceremony wishes. It does not replace financial or funeral director arrangements, but it can sit alongside them as part of your wider planning.

Can my family be involved?

Yes. You are welcome to involve family members, or you may prefer to do this privately. It is entirely up to you.

What happens to the information afterwards?

You will receive a written summary of your ceremony wishes. You can keep it with your important papers and share it with your family, funeral director, lawyer, or someone you trust.

What is the difference between a funeral director and a funeral celebrant?

A Funeral Director takes care of everything to do with the deceased. They arrange the funeral and all the logistics involved. They are also responsible for registering the death.

A Celebrant is responsible for the ceremony itself. They will find out about your person and the life they led, and work with you to ensure you get to say goodbye in a way that feels right to you. The Celebrant and Funeral Director work as a team to ensure everything runs well on the day.

How do I write a eulogy?

Your Celebrant can write and deliver a eulogy for the Funeral or Memorial Service. However, you can choose to do it yourself.

Here are some tips…

It is impossible to sum up a life story in a few minutes. However, we can tell stories and recall memories in valuable and creative ways.
A helpful eulogy is much more than a list of dates, but it is right to include important ‘milestones’ – birth and marriage, significant moves and changes of career.
The eulogy should act as a springboard for others to call to mind their own special memories. So, talk about your feelings for this special person. Tell some stories about your experiences with him or her. Anecdotes are a great way to celebrate life – there is no reason to avoid the things that were amusing or even mildly irreverent!
Many immediate family members may understandably feel unable to speak publicly themselves, yet have important things to say. Check with them. If they want to offer a few words or a precious memory, try to briefly include these ingredients.

As a very general guide, here is a checklist of things you may want to include
– Birthplace and short details of early childhood
– Educational and sporting achievements, military service
– Work/career
– Marriage and family life
– Hobbies, club memberships, charity involvement
– Preferences in music, literature, theatre, etc
– Characteristic words and sayings
– Personal qualities (perhaps illustrated by stories)

A eulogy should be around five minutes or a couple of typed A4 pages is ample.

What kind of things does a funeral or memorial service include?

As a celebrant, this is a brief and very basic template that I begin to build a ceremony upon. It doesn’t have to be exactly this – in fact it very rarely is! Everyone is different, therefore, no two ceremonies are ever the same…

Words of Welcome – this is led by the celebrant. I welcome everyone and talk about all the reasons we are holding this ceremony. I also talk about your person, who they were, and the part they have played in the lives of others.

Poem – You don’t have to include poetry. In fact for some people it is the last thing they would want. But sometimes you can find the perfect words that really resonate with you. If you want can help you with this.

Eulogy – This is the story of their life. When they were born, where they went to school, and so on… This can be delivered by the Celebrant or someone of your choosing.

Tributes – These are the personal memories of those who knew them best. They can be stories/anecdotes, songs, poetry etc.

Photo Presentation – A very popular way to reflect upon their life. Factor around 40-50 pics per song. I recommend a maximum of two songs (approx 8 minutes), otherwise it gets too long.

The Lord’s Prayer – Involving religion may not be your thing at all. Or it may really important to you. It’s totally up to you.

Committal – This is the traditional part of the ceremony (e.g. earth to earth, ashes to ashes), usually just used in a Funeral Service.

Words of Farewell – the closing of ceremony.

What happens if the celebrant is unable to be there on the day?

If, through unforseen circumstances, I am unable to be there on the day (and this has never happened yet – touch wood), I have a network of wonderful colleagues that I would turn to, to step in for me. Don’t worry, I would never leave you in the lurch!

What is Celebrants Aotearoa and why it matters?

Celebrants Aotearoa is the professional association for celebrants in New Zealand, and I am proud to be a VCANZ validated member. VCANZ recognises experienced celebrants who have demonstrated ongoing professional development, reflective practice and a commitment to professional standards. For families, it offers added reassurance that I take my role, my responsibilities and your ceremony seriously.