Funerals
It's so hard to say goodbye to someone we love. It's important to honour our loved one's life, to acknowledge our grief and to say a final farewell. For me, there could be no greater privilege than to helping a family through this difficult time.
Funeral Service
From $690
I will support you and your family in your grief and give you all the advice and guidance necessary to enable you to have exactly the right ceremony for you. I take the time to find out all about your loved one in order to deliver a ceremony that truly honours their life.
Memorial Service
P.O.A
Say goodbye in your own way and in your own time – whenever or wherever is important to you. Memorial Services are becoming an increasingly popular way to say goodbye to your loved one. It can be held at any venue and can be a very meaningful way to say goodbye.
Ash Interment
From $250
When your loved one has been cremated, you may still decide to inter their ashes into a cemetery, perhaps along with others who have gone before them.
I can help you to honour their memory in a simple but lovely ceremony.
Funerals
Frequently Asked Questions
Why even have a Funeral or Memorial Service?
This is a question that I get asked a lot these days. People do not want the fuss or expense. But as much as a Funeral is about honouring the deceased, its most important role is to support those left behind. A funeral gives family and friends the opportunity to come together to share in their grief and to remember someone who was really important in their lives. In my opinion it is an essential step on the long, and often complicated journey of grief.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it is necessary to have the biggest and best casket or the most expensive flowers. It really isn’t about that. But doing something, whether big or small, is really important. It helps us to make sense of what has happened, to acknowledge that grief really sucks and to reinforce everything our loved one was to us. It enables us to begin to move forward without our person in our lives.
If you’re unsure, give me a call, I’m happy to talk it through. No, I won’t try to “sell my services,” but I’ve been in this business for a long time, as a celebrant, as a funeral director, as a bereavement support coordinator and as someone who has also lost people I have loved. I’ve seen and felt what grief can do, so I am happy to be a sounding board for your thoughts.
Whatever you do to farewell your loved one, big or small, private or public, celebrant or no celebrant, or whatever … please do something. xx
What is the difference between a Funeral Director and a Funeral Celebrant?
A Funeral Director takes care of everything to do with the deceased. They arrange the funeral and all the logistics involved. They are also responsible for registering the death.
A Celebrant is responsible for the ceremony itself. They will find out about your person and the life they led, and work with you to ensure you get to say goodbye in a way that feels right to you. The Celebrant and Funeral Director work as a team to ensure everything runs well on the day.
Does a Funeral Director need to be present at the Funeral?
If the deceased is present, then yes, the Funeral Director will usually be there. They are responsible for caring for your person and ensuring that they are buried or cremated according to law. They do not need to attend a Memorial Service.
What is the difference between a Funeral and a Memorial Service?
The deceased is present for a Funeral Service and usually following the service they will be taken for cremation or burial. The burial is usually part of the funeral as well. Sometimes, (for a myriad of reasons) the cremation or burial will occur prior. In this case, you can hold a Memorial Service. This can happen the following week, or year, or whenever feels right to you. It is not necessary to have a Funeral Director attend a Memorial Service.
Where can I hold a Memorial Service?
This can be held absolutely anywhere! At your home, or a club for example. Even in a bush or at a beach. Wherever feels right to you. If you are having a large gathering in a public place though, it may pay to check if you need to book the location. Auckland Council have good guidelines and contact details here… Park locations for your ceremony. If you want somewhere that offers catering, I can recommend Beaufords in Totara Park.
What is an Ash Interment and how do I organise one?
When someone is cremated, you may choose to inter the ashes into a plot at a cemetery. This might be an ash plot or into a gravesite that you already own (another family member is buried there. There is some paperwork that must be completed and an interment fee to be paid. You could ask your Funeral Director to organise this or you contact the cemetery directly and arrange it with them. Auckland Council Cemeteries can be contacted here.
If you choose to, you can use a Celebrant to officiate an Ash Interment Ceremony.
How do I write a eulogy?
Your Celebrant can write and deliver a eulogy for the Funeral or Memorial Service. However, you can choose to do it yourself.
Here are some tips…
It is impossible to sum up a life story in a few minutes. However, we can tell stories and recall memories in valuable and creative ways.
A helpful eulogy is much more than a list of dates, but it is right to include important ‘milestones’ – birth and marriage, significant moves and changes of career.
The eulogy should act as a springboard for others to call to mind their own special memories. So, talk about your feelings for this special person. Tell some stories about your experiences with him or her. Anecdotes are a great way to celebrate life – there is no reason to avoid the things that were amusing or even mildly irreverent!
Many immediate family members may understandably feel unable to speak publicly themselves, yet have important things to say. Check with them. If they want to offer a few words or a precious memory, try to briefly include these ingredients.
As a very general guide, here is a checklist of things you may want to include
– Birthplace and short details of early childhood
– Educational and sporting achievements, military service
– Work/career
– Marriage and family life
– Hobbies, club memberships, charity involvement
– Preferences in music, literature, theatre, etc
– Characteristic words and sayings
– Personal qualities (perhaps illustrated by stories)
A eulogy should be around five minutes or a couple of typed A4 pages is ample.
What kind of things does a Funeral or Memorial Service include?
As a celebrant, this is a brief and very basic template that I begin to build a ceremony upon. It doesn’t have to be exactly this – in fact it very rarely is! Everyone is different, therefore, no two ceremonies are ever the same…
Words of Welcome – this is led by the celebrant. I welcome everyone and talk about all the reasons we are holding this ceremony. I also talk about your person, who they were, and the part they have played in the lives of others.
Poem – You don’t have to include poetry. In fact for some people it is the last thing they would want. But sometimes you can find the perfect words that really resonate with you. If you want can help you with this.
Eulogy – This is the story of their life. When they were born, where they went to school, and so on… This can be delivered by the Celebrant or someone of your choosing.
Tributes – These are the personal memories of those who knew them best. They can be stories/anecdotes, songs, poetry etc.
Photo Presentation – A very popular way to reflect upon their life. Factor around 40-50 pics per song. I recommend a maximum of two songs (approx 8 minutes), otherwise it gets too long.
The Lord’s Prayer – Involving religion may not be your thing at all. Or it may really important to you. It’s totally up to you.
Committal – This is the traditional part of the ceremony (e.g. earth to earth, ashes to ashes), usually just used in a Funeral Service.
Words of Farewell – the closing of ceremony.
Do you need to have the ashes at a Memorial Service?
No. This is completely up to you. It’s always nice to have a focus in a ceremony, but this could be a nice photo with flowers and candles. It’s completely up to you.
How soon after a death do I have to hold a Memorial Service?
This is completely up to you. It could be the following week or the following year. Whenever it feels right for you.
What happens if the celebrant is unable to be there on the day?
If, through unforseen circumstances, I am unable to be there on the day (and this has never happened yet – touch wood), I have a network of wonderful colleagues that I would turn to, to step in for me. Don’t worry, I would never leave you in the lurch!
What is Celebrants Aotearoa?
Celebrants Aotearoa is the Celebrants Association of New Zealand, of which I am proud to be a member. This means that I adhere to a code of ethics and professional conduct. It also means that I am committed to Professional Development and am continually seeking to further my education and honing my celebrant craft. In short, I am always striving to be the very best celebrant that I can be!
“Love is a fabric that never fades, no matter how often it is washed in the waters of adversity and grief”.
